I found an old hymn in The Baptist Hymnal (1991) whose text resonated with me. Since it's in the public domain, I think it's OK for me to post the lyrics here.
Hymn 270: No, Not Despairingly
No, not despairingly
Come I to Thee,
No, not distrustingly
Bend I the knee:
Sin hath gone over me
Yet this is still my plea:
Jesus hath died.
Ah! mine iniquity
Crimson hath been,
Infinite, infinite
Sin upon sin:
Sin of not loving Thee
Sin of not trusting Thee,
Infinite sin.
Lord, I confess to Thee
Sadly my sin;
All I am tell I Thee,
All I have been:
Purge Thou my sin away,
Wash Thou my soul this day:
Lord, make me clean.
Faithful and just art Thou,
Forgiving all;
Loving and kind art Thou
When poor ones call:
Lord, let the cleansing blood,
Blood of the Lamb of God,
Pass o'er my soul.
Then all is peace and light
This soul within;
Thus shall I walk with Thee,
The loved Unseen;
Leaning on Thee, my God,
Guided along the road,
Nothing between.
Words: Horatius Bonar
"Not distrustingly bend I the knee"---wow, that we might bend the knee yet be distrusting. Let that not be! Oh, break my heart...not shattered into pieces...but break the stiff-necked pride...that I bend the knee...and may I know that You are not hateful to me but are disciplining me in love, as the perfect father would.
"let the cleansing blood...pass o'er my soul"---spiritual Tide with color-safe bleach! When I read "cleansing," I often think of a scrub brush rubbing painfully into my skin. But it isn't that. No! Remember the painting on the lintels of the Hebrews' doors the lamb's blood? The pain was carried by the lamb. It might have pained the person slaughtering the lamb to kill a dear animal, but we don't know. We do know that our Savior suffered agony, and those watching Him suffer pain and death must have suffered much emotional pain...perhaps to the point of some physical pain. But look! The cleansing blood does not scrub into our skin, and the hurt of change occurs when we do not cooperate with God. (Yes, life events can be painful, but that's not the same as spiritual cleansing.) Hmm...something to ponder further.
My favorite part: "Leaning on Thee, guided along the road, nothing between." I have this image of having my arm in the crook of His arm, like lovers do, and leaning on His shoulder and on His chest. No tension between us. No distrust. No coldness. No distance. Unblocked communication. It's a beautiful thing.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Mystery of Presence
How You affect us, Father!
How You change us with just one glance
filled with pleasure in Your children!
You fill Your people with joy
and they are glad.
You are bright with holy light.
Those who have learned to acclaim You,
who walk in the light of Your presence, O LORD,
are blessed
because their hearts are at rest,
loving with actions and in truth,
creating more joy among the family of God
and increasing the gladness when in Your presence.
Teach us this truth, Father.
May we taste and see that You are good.
(adapted from Psalm 16:11; 18:12; 21:6; 89:15; 1 John 3:19; and 1 Thessalonians 3:9)
How You change us with just one glance
filled with pleasure in Your children!
You fill Your people with joy
and they are glad.
You are bright with holy light.
Those who have learned to acclaim You,
who walk in the light of Your presence, O LORD,
are blessed
because their hearts are at rest,
loving with actions and in truth,
creating more joy among the family of God
and increasing the gladness when in Your presence.
Teach us this truth, Father.
May we taste and see that You are good.
(adapted from Psalm 16:11; 18:12; 21:6; 89:15; 1 John 3:19; and 1 Thessalonians 3:9)
Unfailing Love
"What a [person] desires is unfailing love."
"Many a [person] claims to have unfailing love,
but a faithful [person] who can find?"
---Proverbs
*
How can You satisfy
when I have been Gomer,
running to other lovers
whose cries seemed louder
than Yours?
*
Chesed:
O this word
that sums up
love that smiles on us,
comforts us,
causes us to rejoice
because it lights our way,
redeems us not partially
but fully—
love that is
priceless beyond measure,
never absent,
that governs God's mercy,
surrounds us like a city's walls,
keeps us from being shaken.
When we trust in Him,
in His unfailing love,
we have His full attention,
and He delights in us.
Because of Him,
who is unfailing, covenant love,
we are soothed, cherished,
loved deeply by the perfect Father
who holds us tightly
yet tenderly.
ej 2003; revised 2005
"Many a [person] claims to have unfailing love,
but a faithful [person] who can find?"
---Proverbs
*
How can You satisfy
when I have been Gomer,
running to other lovers
whose cries seemed louder
than Yours?
*
Chesed:
O this word
that sums up
love that smiles on us,
comforts us,
causes us to rejoice
because it lights our way,
redeems us not partially
but fully—
love that is
priceless beyond measure,
never absent,
that governs God's mercy,
surrounds us like a city's walls,
keeps us from being shaken.
When we trust in Him,
in His unfailing love,
we have His full attention,
and He delights in us.
Because of Him,
who is unfailing, covenant love,
we are soothed, cherished,
loved deeply by the perfect Father
who holds us tightly
yet tenderly.
ej 2003; revised 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
More on "Take Time to Be Holy"
This text comes from the final draft of the devotion I shared during choir rehearsal in October 2003.
Come away, My beloved, to our meeting place
beside the cool waters.
I delight in your hand clasped trustingly in Mine.
Your face shining with hope in Me
is beautiful, My child.
You have been seeking Me
wholeheartedly, desiring to learn
My ways so that My thoughts, words, and actions become yours.
I long to tell you great and deep things
you've never known before.
Yield to Me and your springtime will be now.
The blossoming of holiness can begin
even in this season when dry leaves fall to cool, moist ground.
Do not fold up the petals of your living
and determine not to open up till a different spring appears.
The sun is here and shines on every part;
the well flows up and will water a thirsty heart.
So then may songs burst forth and dances may celebrate to a joyful tune.
Spring in you is here and life can be green under an autumn moon.
Come away, My beloved, to our meeting place
beside the cool waters.
I delight in your hand clasped trustingly in Mine.
Your face shining with hope in Me
is beautiful, My child.
You have been seeking Me
wholeheartedly, desiring to learn
My ways so that My thoughts, words, and actions become yours.
I long to tell you great and deep things
you've never known before.
Yield to Me and your springtime will be now.
The blossoming of holiness can begin
even in this season when dry leaves fall to cool, moist ground.
Do not fold up the petals of your living
and determine not to open up till a different spring appears.
The sun is here and shines on every part;
the well flows up and will water a thirsty heart.
So then may songs burst forth and dances may celebrate to a joyful tune.
Spring in you is here and life can be green under an autumn moon.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Pictures of Prayer
This text comes from a draft of a devotion I wrote on 10/8/03 to share before our church's adult choir rehearsed the approaching Sunday's anthem, "Take Time to Be Holy."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It is early evening. The sun is slowly slipping down to the horizon in the west. You tug on the lamb's lead to persuade him away from some dry scrub brush. He follows you, the little bell clunking as he walks.
You enter the courtyard, passing through the fabric gate. The priests stand near the altar of burnt offerings and the laver, carrying out their duties. One of their helpers takes the lamb from you, and you bow. The sweet smell of incense lingers in the airafter a breeze blows from the tabernacle through the courts.
You pray as you watch the helpers and the priests perform the rituals given years ago, repeated day after day through generations of God-fearers. You marvel at these things God has instructed you and your people to do and sometimes wonder why and wonder if it would be OK to ask Him.
Now you smell the aroma of your lamb burning on the altar. You continue praying. May it atone. May it atone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It is evening. The sun has slipped down to the horizon on the west. You and your friends are following the Master through the Kidron Valley.
You hear the shofar trumpets blare. You smell the fragrance of incense, the aroma of burnt offerings, and the stench of blood running from the temple. You know that the city of Jerusalem is crowded with Passover worshipers.
You look at the Master walking up ahead. He is singing with you, sometimes with a faraway look you cannot describe. You think about all the events you have experienced with Him and try to compress them all into a single thought, but you cannot grasp the meaning of them.
Then you remember something one of John's followers told you once. John had said, "Look, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world." What did it mean? And what does the Master mean when He keeps saying He will destroy the temple and in three days build it again?
One of the followers comes to clasp your hand, and you put aside your musings as together you raise your voices in song: "This is the day that the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Looking back on a life well spent in Your presence,
what will I see? The moments others saw as sacrifice
were times I chose to be silent before you,
times I did not listen to the white-noise hum of postmodern mechanics
but to the stretching-into-eternity vastness of the Truth
that has no harmonic on this human scale.
I set You at my right hand and You became my strength
as my weaknesses grew and covered my pride in rags of shame.
You stood in my place, revealed Yourself through the holes,
and washed away every stain.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It is early evening. The sun is slowly slipping down to the horizon in the west. You tug on the lamb's lead to persuade him away from some dry scrub brush. He follows you, the little bell clunking as he walks.
You enter the courtyard, passing through the fabric gate. The priests stand near the altar of burnt offerings and the laver, carrying out their duties. One of their helpers takes the lamb from you, and you bow. The sweet smell of incense lingers in the airafter a breeze blows from the tabernacle through the courts.
You pray as you watch the helpers and the priests perform the rituals given years ago, repeated day after day through generations of God-fearers. You marvel at these things God has instructed you and your people to do and sometimes wonder why and wonder if it would be OK to ask Him.
Now you smell the aroma of your lamb burning on the altar. You continue praying. May it atone. May it atone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It is evening. The sun has slipped down to the horizon on the west. You and your friends are following the Master through the Kidron Valley.
You hear the shofar trumpets blare. You smell the fragrance of incense, the aroma of burnt offerings, and the stench of blood running from the temple. You know that the city of Jerusalem is crowded with Passover worshipers.
You look at the Master walking up ahead. He is singing with you, sometimes with a faraway look you cannot describe. You think about all the events you have experienced with Him and try to compress them all into a single thought, but you cannot grasp the meaning of them.
Then you remember something one of John's followers told you once. John had said, "Look, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world." What did it mean? And what does the Master mean when He keeps saying He will destroy the temple and in three days build it again?
One of the followers comes to clasp your hand, and you put aside your musings as together you raise your voices in song: "This is the day that the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Looking back on a life well spent in Your presence,
what will I see? The moments others saw as sacrifice
were times I chose to be silent before you,
times I did not listen to the white-noise hum of postmodern mechanics
but to the stretching-into-eternity vastness of the Truth
that has no harmonic on this human scale.
I set You at my right hand and You became my strength
as my weaknesses grew and covered my pride in rags of shame.
You stood in my place, revealed Yourself through the holes,
and washed away every stain.
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