a stack of pancakes sopped
soggy with maple syrup and a dollop
of butter that melts a well,
a gooshy pancake center...
too much sugary thinking...
deliciousness that isn't so nutritious.
too much fatty thinking...
too much of an excess,
too much coating...
though the wheels of grey matter
needed some greasing.
some oil, some is just enough...
Author's note: I've given myself permission to put poetry drafts here, especially in the hopes that comments will help spur me forward or in another direction. My writing is often a response to things others say or to what is happening around me. It's my interior monologue of sorts, sometimes with a "soundtrack." I don't purport to be Homer or Shakespeare. This stuff is what it is...and is what it becomes.
Whenever I have Harvest Grain 'n' Nut pancakes at IHOP, the stack arrives with a huge dollop of butter in the middle that creates this soggy well. (I love the mushy part of not-quite-cooked bread products, so this sogginess is delightful to me!) Put maple syrup on top...and augh! augh! That's some good stuff! But I know that as tasty as this dish is, it's not good for me, for anyone for that matter. And that's what I think my thinking has been lately.....not as "healthily" productive as it could be. It's hard to explain---that's why I like to use the metaphor.
Thoughts on how to get this poem closer to what I'm trying to say?
